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My 9 Hour Lay Over

09.01.2016

Hour 1

 

10:10pm-10:25... Departs plane and thinks to self, "MUST. GET. FOOD." Every food place is closed. Except Einstein's Bagels!!!! Buys a very stale bagel and thinks to self, "I can heat it up when I get to the United Club."

 

10:25... Gets to the United Club... and it's closed. WHAT?! I swear the website said United Clubs are open 24 hours! This is impossible! **Googles furiously while sitting on the toilet**. So there is one open til 11:30. It's across the airport?! Runs across the airport and hands the woman at the United Club a "One Time Pass".

 

10:35... Lady at the United Club: "You only have 55 minutes until we close. Are you sure you want to use your pass?". Me: "Yes. Please let me in."

 

10:37-11:10... Chugs complimentary red wine. Updates blog. Chugs red wine. Chats with bartender. Chugs red wine. Wins bartender's sympathy. Chugs red wine.

 

Hour 2

 

11:10-11:30... Finishes all the complimentary red wine.

 

11:33... BEEP BEEP BEEP. Attention passsengers! There has been a fire alarm set off in the terminal.

 

11:35... BEEP BEEP BEEP. Attention passengers! There has been a fire alarm set off in the terminal.

 

11:40... Sits in the most comfortable airport chair available and updates social media.

 

11:45... I never found out what that fire alarm was about, I guess that means I'm safe?

 

Hour 3

 

12:15am... For some reason I did not expect the airport to be this crowded after midnight. Anyway, back to work!

 

12:25... I just wrote ov, Not of... ov. I think I need to stop writing now. I should eat that bagel I bought. Except there was no microwave so it's still stale and gross.

 

12:30... **nibbles on stale and gross bagel**

 

12:32... "Is that guy really taking a picture of the people cleaning the floors? How could that possibly be of interest?

 

12:40... The picture guy (we shall call him Doug) has returned!

 

12:41... The following conversation ensues:

 

Doug: What kind of wax do you use on those floors?

Employee: Um... floor cleaner?

Doug: Oh. Floor cleaner? Huh. Can I see it?

Employee: **Looks at other employees**

Other employees shrug

Employee: I guess. Follow me.

 

They start to walk away and are almost out of ear shot when...

 

Doug: I will take a picture of it.

 

Hour 4

1:12... Finally the airport looks as empty as I imagined it would.

 

1:15... I should finish my work.

 

1:16... But I'm so tired.

 

1:17... But if I finish my work I won't have to do anything when I get to Costa Rica

 

1:18... But sleeeeeepppppp

 

1:19... No! Work!

 

1:20... Okay, fine. Sleep.

 

Hour 5

 

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Hour 6

 

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Hour 7

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4:49... Oh my god! What if someone stole everything I own and I can't go to Costa Rica? Where's my phone and my money and my passport and... oh. Nope, I'm fine.

 

4:51... I could really use some food. Is anything open? *Does a quick google search*. Great... more bagels.

 

5:01... *Stands obnoxiously close to the register and glances pointedly at the clock every 30 seconds.

 

5:06... "How may I help you?"

 

5:07... *Orders the bagel with the most ingredients.*

 

5:09... *Eats like someone ending a 5-day fast*

 

Hour 8

5:37... Food is digesting, electronics are charging, eyes are only slightly drooping... Life is good.

 

5:43... How are there this many people getting breakfast right now? If I had to catch a flight this early there's no way I would come with time enough to spare for breakfast.

 

5:54... Well hey, look at that, I'm almost done with all my work! I could use a few more 9 hour layovers in my life.

 

Hour 9

6:15... Dear Universe, I take that back. Please never give me another 9 hour layover.

 

6:36... Made it to my gate. People waiting in line next to me are talking about permaculture, wishing schools taught respect of all religions, and the financial reasons war exists... I think I'm going to like Costa Rica.

 

7:18... "We now ask all passengers to turn of their large electronic devices."

 

Adios America!

 

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